For the upcoming 2010/2011 snowboard season, we've decided to undertake a pretty exciting project here at The Solitary Life: Testing all of the various snowboard waxes that are on the market today, to separate the fluff from the fiction. Just like we're doing right now, with pricepoint skate shoes...
Many snowboarders don't understand how critically important regular waxing is to how a snowboard performs. Wax not only makes your board faster down the hill, it also makes the board easier to control and stop as well. The main idea here, is that wax cuts resistance to movement. Cutting resistance increases response, while decreasing fatigue. That means more runs, more fun, more speed, quicker turns, more agility, and less "leg burn" at the end of the day. And, the ability to easily turn, and stop, to avoid obstacles (Trees, rocks, dumb moms, small children filming video parts, drunk assholes, newbie skiers, arrogant skiers... you know, the kind of stuff that you'll find on any given day at Perfect North...) means more safety, and less of a chance of you or somebody else getting maimed, or ground into the ice.
Wax also helps keep your base sealed, which blocks out contaminants, and helps to minimize the effects of "foreign objects" (ie, rocks and branches) being dragged across the bottom of the board, which results in far fewer dings and gouges in the base of your several-hundred-dollar investment.
But, the burning question here at The Solitary Life is: Which wax is the best? Which waxes are the most cost-effective? Which waxes are the easiest to use? Which waxes are the most durable? And, here's the best one (for us, at least): Which waxes are the fastest...?!?!
This year, we shall test, re-test, and finally see for ourselves (and, you guys) which waxes truly hold up to the "hype machines" that surround the snowboard industry. There will be only one winner. Everyone else, will be "losers" by comparison. The stakes are high, and the Big Money that drives this industry means nothing to us. Truth and independence rule the day at The Solitary Life. Only a damn compelling argument, and some hard-ass numbers, will get our attention. And even then, the only thing that we really care about are results. Everything else, is pure bullshit.
Enter Terry Hertel, of Hertel Wax. Now, we don't know Terry all that well. Nor have we used Hertel wax [yet]. We're Swix Guys 'round these parts, and we're not ashamed to admit it. Swix does, after all, seemingly control about 99.999% of the snowboard wax market. At many snow shops, it's the only game they've got. Of course, other players do exist: We see a lot of Dakine, Burton (Yes, just like everything else that's snow-related, Burton offers wax as well...), One Ball Jay, and Magical Go-Go around town. But until a few months back, we'd never heard of Terry Hertel, or any of his waxes.
This weekend, I had the pleasure of having a few e-mail exchanges with Mr. Hertel. I say "pleasure" because Mr. Hertel gave me something that's really quite rare in either the skateboard, or snowboard industries: Hard Numbers, and Compelling Facts to support his claims. And, let's be clear here: The Claims that Mr. Hertel makes are pretty damn steep. One wax, for true all-temperature performance...? The fastest wax on the market (by far)...? Secret ingredients that actually change the way that water interacts with your base...? A wax that actually bonds to your base, and can last for 7 full days before you need to re-wax...?!?! A high-end wax (that costs $99 an ounce, I might add) that fully rejects water, which results in a near-frictionless base...?!!? A springtime wax that makes that shit on top of wet, dirty snow fast...?!?! In our world, this stuff pretty much sums up "The Impossible". Yet, Mr. Hertel claims that his wax makes "The Impossible", a reality. For somewhere between $20 and $54, per 3/4 lb. bar, I might add (which is about 339 grams, for all you Metric Geeks out there...!)
And, here's the clincher: All of this for about half the price of Swix F4...!!!?!?!* That can't be for real...! There's just no way...!!!
Just one of the tidbits that you'll find at Hertel's website, or his Facebook page. The evidence gets pretty overwhelming, pretty quickly. Is this half-price wax really the best thing on the market, today...!??! We're gonna find out...
Problem is, Terry's no slouch. He's clearly, a scientific nut. That much is for certain, as soon as he returns an e-mail to you. "Nut" isn't a bad thing at all; skateboarding and snowboarding are both filled with completely nutty dudes that do singularly amazing things on a regular basis. What Terry's got here, though, is a little bit different from the crowd of hypsters that our sports are "blessed" with. No: What Terry's got here, is a real passion for making shit that works. No hype, no hoopla, no million-dollar marketing budget, and no "endorsements" to speak of. No "endorsements" that we'd recognize, at least. But, when you go to Hertel's Facebook or website, you'll see a whole bunch of letters from Olympic Gold Medalists and legendary snowboard champions, quietly hanging hidden away in various photo albums and "testimonial" pages.
Here's the first "testimonial" I came across on the Hertel website. Here, we have Jeff Brushie (legendary guy), riding a Burton Craig Kelly Air (legendary board, from a legendary pro, made by a legendary company), and saying three simple words in the hand-written note: "Best Wax Ever!" Now, who you gonna listen to? Some slicked-out ad campaign from some mega-corporate monster...? Or, Blackjack himself...!?! This is just one of the many from various Olympic teams, medalists, record holders, and average joes that swear by the stuff, that you'll find around the Hertel web machine. Impressive? You betcha. Are we convinced? Not yet. But, it's a damn good start...
Of course, snowboard season is a long way off. We haven't even ordered our batch of Hertel test wax yet. And, there's a huge army of competitors out there, in the form of Swix (of course), One Ball Jay, Burton, Magical Go-Go, Dominator, Briko, Maplus, Podium, Glide-On, Holmenkol, Dakine, Pom-Pom, Toko, Zardoz, Purl, Whacks, Bluebird, RaceService1... the list gets bigger and bigger every day, quite literally.
Yet already, Terry Hertel has come out of nowhere, and given us something that "the competition" doesn't seem to have in their arsenals: Compelling Science, and Convincing Numbers.
And if there's anything that we like around here, it's compelling science and convincing numbers...
We've thus decided to put Hertel's waxes right up at the top of the list, as the "First Wax Out Of The Gate" for our testing regimen this year. This, will be the stuff that is going to be the first up to challenge the "Swix Hedgemony". And, it's the wax that everybody else is gonna have to either catch up to, or beat, mighty quick. This is, after all, The Solitary Life. We don't screw around with this shit. It's either fish or cut bait, all the time.
I hope the competition is up to the challenge, because it's going to be one hell of a ride. Hang on tight, and tune in this winter for the slugfest.
*Here's the math, kids: A 180 gram bar of Swix F4 routinely retails for $25.00. A 3/4 lb "St. Louis Brick" of Super Hot Sauce (339 grams, approx) retails via the Hertel website for $20. 339 grams is a little less than 180 grams, times two (360 g.). Of course, prices do fluctuate here and there... but, we're pretty close to Hertel being twice as much wax, for the same price. If not, a little cheaper.
