That's Us, Alright.

Happenings: Transition Jam, Terre Haute

Last Saturday, I took an impromptu day trip over to Terre Haute for the Transition Skateshop Skate Jam/Contest/Get Together that they were hosting at Vorhees Park. I say "impromptu", because I didn't really plan on going. Truth is, I hadn't been back there since Jeremy and Liz sold the late (and great) TOC Skateshop to some young buck named Michael Ramsey. And figuring that Jeremy and Liz were pretty much an impossible act to follow, I'd planned on being elsewhere for the day. But either circumstance, or divine intervention (you pick) stepped in and spoiled my original plans, while a couple of the Terre Haute locs kept gently reminding me that this shindig was fast approaching. Finally, the night right before the contest, I decided that maybe it was high time that I went and checked everything out. After all, I'd been hearing some pretty good stuff about the new shop. So maybe this "Mike" kid had it figured out after all.


Because I get so, so sick of listening to myself babble incessantly, I decided to tell take a little departure from "the norm", and tell the entire story solely in photos and captions. I think they pretty much say it all, anyway. Ready? Alright! Here we go:








As usual, the turnout for this event was really, really impressive. Terre Haute really has a pretty sizeable skate scene that really turns out for these sorts of events. Everyone comes, because flaking it is strictly verboten... and in any rate, you'd be the ultimate loser in the whole deal for missing out in the first place.

You probably wouldn't imagine that there would even be this many skaters in a small, out-of-the-way town like Terre Haute. But Jeremy and Liz at TOC always somehow understood that their mission in life was to encourage the next generation(s) of up-and-coming skaters, and keep them engaged and on board at all times. Plus, they definitely knew how to throw a killer contest/jam, complete with bands and BBQ, and a more-than-welcoming vibe for anyone and everyone... which always meant that everyone came, even if it meant driving from hours away [like I did]. And much to my happy surprise, the guys at Transition do at least as good of a job as Jeremy and Liz did. Which is really saying a lot, considering the ridiculously high bar that they set.







I wish I'd gotten this guys' name... but as I get older and older, it gets harder and harder for me to actually remember to do basic reporting sometimes. Five-O grind on the tombstone.







Troyt Sweitzer came into town from Champaign, Illinois on Saturday to see some family, and do a little bit of skating. When he heard there was a contest at the park the next day, he decided to stay in town for the night. Lucky for us! Because, he rips. And as a photographer, this is the kind of guy that I just love to work with. We spent the next twenty minutes or so, having a quiet little photo sesh in the far corner of the park. Kickflip back lip.

As Troyt and I were having our private, out-of-the-way photo sesh, this little guy comes booking along, and does a buttery-smooth boardslide right in front of my camera lens. Thinking that it was still Troyt, I snapped a photo off. It was only when I got home, and uploaded my photos to my laptop, that I realized my mistake. If anybody wants to drop me a line and give me this little ripper's name, then maybe I can give him the caption-credit that he fully deserves.

Troyt and I probably shot about twenty killer photos in less less than 10 minutes. The kid's definitely got some super-consistent skills. Bank to bank kickflip over the handrail.







Good advice right there.









The bowl complex is where most of the heavy stuff happens, so I spent a lot of my day camping out there. Saint Nick, Nick Whitaker... whatever you call him, this ollie out of the bowl to backside fifty on the tombstone is pretty damn burly.







The illustrious (and legendary) Miles Keller, and his brand-new swellbow. Ouch.







Transition Skateshop not only hosted, organized, and funded the event... they were even doling out free lunches to everyone that attended. Did I just say "free lunches"...?! Oh, yes I did! This guy right here was my hero of the day. Hey, for reals: Anybody that gives me free hot dogs and cold Cokes is my hero of the day, every day.







It's good to see that the spirit of inclusion is still alive and well in Terre Haute.

As the skies turned gray, Coby Krieg brightened things up a little bit with a layback rollout on the tombstone. Skaters in Terre Haute don't seem at all afraid to borrow tricks and styles from every era of skateboarding.






Swellbow or not, this guy is going to go skating nevertheless. And he does not screw around. He had a grand 'ol time bossing me around, and setting me up for the next photo for like, thirty photos in a row! I'm not even complaining in the least- because if I can respect anything at all, it's a dude with a whole lotta enthusiasm and initiative. He's exactly half all work, and half all play. Miles Keller, aka Marshall Law, defying pain, sanity, and gravity all at the same time to get the shot he wants. Backside disaster on the tombstone.







This article is dedicated to Jeremy and Liz, who will always be fondly remembered for everything that they've done for skateboarding, and skateboarders, in Terre Haute... and to Michael Ramsey, who seems to be doing a damn fine job of carrying the torch.

It was a great time. I'm glad I went.

The Freestyle Report, October 2011

I can't lie. One of the greatest things about being the editor of The Solitary Life was getting AJ Kohn's Freestyle Reports every month. First of all, I was extremely proud that we covered freestyle on a consistent and recurring basis in the first place (something that virtually nobody else will even dare to do... why, we have no idea). But even better, I always loved getting AJ's enthusiastic calls about what he had up his sleeve for his newest reports. I was never, ever disappointed. Mostly because the freestyle community has so many cool, talented, and interesting people involved that really, you can never go wrong with that crowd.

So, when I called AJ last week with my proposal for Everything Skateboarding, one of the first things out of his mouth was, "Hey, have you seen Kilian's newest YouTube video yet...?!" Well, damn! No, I hadn't! The reason?! There hasn't been a Freestyle Reporter around in seven months to give me the heads-up on this sort of stuff (my fault, of course- not AJ's). But, given that Kilian is one of our house favorites here at The Solita... ummm, Everything Skateboarding... well, you know damn good and well that checking that shit out suddenly became Job One on my to-do shit list.

I don't think that much needs to be said, really. Just watch it, and prepare for the usual blowing away that Kilian (and his partner in crime, Brett Novak) deliver every time.

There is one thing that we might point out, though. In some clips, we can see that Kilian is riding his first-ever pro model that cameout on Sk8Kings last year. If we never congratulated Kilian on that... well, congratulations buddy! In other clips, we can see that Kilian recently got officially accepted by the legandary Powell-Peralta as their newest teamrider. Kilian...! Congratulations again, buddy!

Copyright 2011 Everything Skateboarding Magazine

Busy Making New Art...!

As we're getting ready to re-launch the blog/magazine, there's quite a few fun things that I have to accomplish before we "go to press". And one of those few fun things is making brand-new art and icons for the not-so-brand-new site.


Many of you probably don't know this, but all of the art that's featured on The Solitary Life/Everything Skateboarding is either entirely hand-drawn... or, created on my laptop, pixel by pixel, using an old Windows "paint" program.

In the case of hand-drawn artwork, I first draw the art on copy paper, using various Sharpie permanent markers. Then, I use an old point-and-shoot camera to take a photo of the artwork.





Here's the hand-drawn version of our new "footer" logo (ie, the little logos that define the end of every Everything Skateboarding artice). Get a load of that ten-year-old laptop in the upper right hand corner. Yup, that's us, alright. Only the "latest and greatest" for our people...!



Once I have the photo, I save it on my laptop as a monochrome bitmap paintfile, which seperates it into stark black and white. Curiously, newer versions of paint don't seem to have this feature. Which is why we still love running Windows 98 over here in the Everything Skateboarding dinosaur cave.





Here's the same photo, after we save it in the "Dino-Tron 1990", an Apple IIe that was built in 1986. Okay, you caught me- I'm totally kidding. Wait... make that, "half kidding".



Once saved as a monochrome, we save it again as a 24-bit color file. This is where we invert the colors (another feature that's curiously missing from newer paint versions...), and make the drawing our trademark black-and-yellow. Lastly, we save it once again, this time as a .jpg photo file. So that we can upload it quickly, since larger files only serve to confuse and confound our geezer computers over here.





Yes, it's an incredibly huge pain in the ass. On the other hand, I've gotta admit that I do love the results. It's kinda funny, because it's starting to sound like the daily struggle of an average skateboarder, isn't it...? Learning tricks, slamming a few times, and then finally making it...? That's precisely why it's so fun, guys! It's fun, because it's hard.



We (I) get my ass made fun of every single day by the rest of the staff, my friends, and my family, for using such a long, tedious, and convoluted process to create what amounts to pretty shitty drawings for this site. But the thing is, all of these "technologies" are readily available to any kid with a nonexistent budget. Or, in my case: Any old, fat geezer on a nonexistent budget. But more importantly, it's a great life lesson on using what you've got readily accessible, at hand... even if it's not very much at all... and utilizing it in the most effective manner possible, to create something far better than you could have ever imagined.





The final, large-size logo. Complete with our other "trademark", the "Condensed-as-hell Arial font", just before it's scaled down to "mini logo" proportions.



And, where'd I learn this resourcefulness from, you ask...? Skateboarding. Of course...





And here it is, the footer we've all been waiting for. See ya tomorrow...!
Copyright 2011 Everything Skateboarding Magazine

A Public Service Announcement:

It's all about "selling stuff"...

What I learned about IASC today (from Boardistan)


Everything that IASC talks about at these "skateboarding summits" seems to end up degenerating into a shallow dialogue about how to "sell more stuff". Charitable and/or community initiatives? They're all about "selling more stuff". Magazines? All about "selling more product" ("product" is synonymous with "stuff", of course). The internet? Great at "building brand appeal" (which is marketing-hypester-speak for "selling more stuff"). What... you don't believe me? Well then, hear it straight from the horses' mouth over at Boardistan, where they're doing a damn snappy job of live blogging the whole senseless shindig of shenanigans:

"If you have skateboarding in high school, maybe that introduces more people to skateboarding and helps everyone sell more stuff..."

"I don't think print will ever die. 25,000 journalists lost their jobs last year. Those numbers don't die. i don't think Thrasher will ever die. That is neither here nor there. The purpose of print media and what we do are virtually the same. Both of us are here to help you get your brand message out so you can sell more product..."

"Unless you're a fan of a brand we've got new kids coming in every day and they've never heard of brands and they somehow come to [some website] and they are turned on to brands..."


Now, guys. I understand that this is an IASC Business Bullshit Bubbub and all. I get that. And of course, Boardistan's editors paraphrased and typoed their asses off in order to bring us their otherwise excellent up-to-the-nanosecond reporting. But even given all of that, I still have to ask myself from time to time, "Seriously? Does everything from high school skateboarding clubs, to the hallowed pages of Thrasher, to [Some Website] have to be strictly about selling more crap (aka,"stuff")?!"

Maybe IASC should try changing their name to "It's A Sacred Concept" for a week or so (instead of the current "It's A Scandalous Conundrum"), and find the motivation [somewhere] to start doing things that promote the grander good of skateboarding, not just for the greater good of lining their pockets and filling their coffers.

The Sentence That Speaks A Thousand Words...

The Sentence That Speaks A Thousand Words...

I took a few minutes out of my all-too-busy evening tonight to poke around at Boardistan (http://www.boardistan.com/), where they just-so-happen to be blogging live from the IASC Bullshit Brouhaha (otherwise known as the "IASC Skateboard Branding Bullshit Brouhaha Summit 2011"... or something ego-stroking and over-indulgent like that). Anyway, as I read through the TweetBlog whatevers, I noticed one sentence in particular that was far more telling then it's mere dozen-or-so words would imply. That sentence was:

"The Editors: No one on the panel can say "Homogenization"* but they're all trying..."

Maybe IASC would know what the fuck they're talking about if they whittled it down to just "Homo", and left it at that.


*Disclaimer For The Uninitiated: "Homogenization" is what happens when every street deck on the market is a pile of shit that was outsourced to some 4th world nation for pennies on the dollar, looks like every other pile-of-shit street deck on the market (except for the graphics which, according to The Industry, makes these anonymous piles of shit "pro models"), and lasts almost as long as a piss-soaked lump of toilet paper... that's basically "homogenization" in a nutshell. It's actually one of the few things that IASC's member brands excel at. Even if they might not know how to pronounce it.




"Keeping It Realer, Bitches". That's our new motto.

The Business Bullshit: Deciphering Harbaugh

This week, I got a quickie e-mail from my buddy Michael over at Concrete Wave Magazine, pointing me to Jeff Harbaugh's latest and greatest bit of "Market Watch" writing (which can always be found at www.jeffharbaugh.com, for those that thuly love these sorts of business babbles). Before I begin having my way of skewering Harbaugh, let me start by saying that Jeff is a super-smart bloke (nay, "brilliant" might be far more accurate), and has been authoritatively writing about the skateboard business for, oh, maybe fifteen years now? His work was a massive influence on me: I used to practically memorize his TransWorld SKATEboarding Business pieces whenever they'd arrive at my office. So even though I may appear to be making a bit of fun of Jeff, my admiration for the guy is absolutely astronomical.

That said: Given his brilliance, I was a bit perplexed by the timing of this piece. It's been very common knowledge for the past five years or so that our distribution model... while not exactly "broken"... is at the very least, obsolescent. If not direly obsolete. So to get my new Market Watch just this week was a bit of a shock to me.

What's even worse: Jeff isn't always the plainest of speakers. He seems to forget that skaters [like me] are typically befuddled by big words and complex concepts. Problem is, this industry is largely owned and managed by "skaters [like me]". So whoever Jeff is writing for sort of eludes me from time to time.

That said, I figured that a new column that serves to translate Jeff's work into skater-speak might be a damned fun time. While allowing me to toss in a quick barb and little bit of extra perspective here and there. So, let's get started:

(Jeff's quotes will be the ones in big, bold italics. My babbling bullshit will be the plain-text crap. Just sayin'.)


"The Skateboard Distribution Model- It Never Was Broken"

Let's begin with the title. For the business newbies out there: The "Distribution Model" of our industry is the way that we get a skateboard from the manufacturer of the product (a woodshop, in most cases), delivered to a marketing brand's warehouse ("Foundation" would be an example of a marketing brand), then sold through what I like to call a "Primary Distributor" ("Tum Yeto" would be Foundation's Primary Distributor)... then, oftentimes to a "Secondary", independent, regional distributor (Eastern Skateboard Supply, AWH, South Shore, Rax, Atlantic, and a few others would all be examples of Secondary Distributors)... to a local retailer... and finally, in your hands. "You" being Average Skateboard Customer. This, my friends and enemies, is our "Skateboard Distribution Model" of 2011. Which is the same model, more or less, that we've been using since 1974 or so.

The question is: Is it "broken"? Well, no. I guess it isn't "broken", per se. But it doesn't exactly work very efficiently either, and might not be the right fit for a 2011 world anymore. I used this anology just last night, in discussing this topic with one of my good friends:

Let's say that Chrysler Corporation unveiled, as a 2011 model, their 1973 Dodge Dart. The '73 Dart got maybe 13 miles per gallon, weighed about 5,000 lbs (dry), burned regular "leaded" gasoline, ran on narrow bias-ply tires, was powered by a cast-iron, carburated lump of an engine, and had a cutting-edge entertainment system featuring an analog AM radio and an 8-track player. It was a nice little car... by 1973 standards. I'd have to guess that it ran pretty well. And thus, it "worked" just fine and dandy, as defined by Jeff Harbaugh. Which means, it's not "broken". In a strictly literal sense.

But, here's the question: Would a modern-day car buyer buy a 1973 Dodge Dart, brand-new, off the lot, as a practical daily driver, in a 2011 world? Heavens no. Not unless they're some sort of retard or something. And thank God they wouldn't. Because a '73 Dart is pretty much a rolling environmental disaster made for geeks that can't afford Hemi Chargers.

Moral: Although not "broken" by definition, the fact remains that this system just might be an antiquated dinosaur being utilized by retards. That's all I'm sayin' here.


"Distribution has always been a bit of a contentious issue in the skateboard industry. I’d regularly go to the IASC sponsored breakfasts at ASR and listen to the participants agree that the industry should “do something” about distribution. Then came the implied blame and pointing of fingers as the brands, retailers and distributors all looked at each other. Needless to say, nothing much was accomplished."

Yeah... this isn't really the way to make "progress" happen. When I go out to learn a new trick, I don't point at Danny Way after I slam, and go "Geez Danny, why didn't you make this happen for me, huh?! I mean, you're the pro skater and all that's supposed to be leading me down the path of perpetual progression and shit". Hey, IASC Members: Instead of pointing the finger (in vain) at somebody else, why don't we try finding the strength within ourselves to find creative and intelligent solutions to a long-standing problem...? Try doing what skaters do every day: Have a go at it, slam a couple times, figure it out, and get that bitch done.

Fuckin' A, you'd think this industry was run by money-hungry business douchebags or something. Not skaters, for cripe's sakes.


"'The industry,' of course, is never going to 'fix' distribution. Every company, if I can recite for the umpteenth time what seems to be becoming my mantra, is going to do what it perceives to be in its own best interest- as it should. And, by the way, distribution isn’t and was never “broken” and doesn’t need fixing. As it does in every industry, it just evolved based on consumer requirements and competitive actions by companies. Distribution may be inconvenient and not the way we’d like it to be, but it’s not broken..."

This is where Jeff is dead wrong. The Industry has to "fix distribution", if it's ever going to survive and prosper in this brave new world of ours. Jeff: Having worked in the snow sports industry, you should know better than this. What skate needs to do, is streamline distribution, to get to the results that it percieves to be in its own best interest. What are those results? Better margins across the board (for brands, as well as retailers). More control over where their products are represented, and how they're represented. Better, more direct relationships between the brands and the representing retailers. MAPs and MSRPs that actually work for everybody up and down the supply chain. These are all things that snow has [largely] accomplished, and that skate has [largely] failed to accomplish. The reason? Skate's overly redundant, 1970's-designed distribution model.

So Jeff, the problem is that skate distribution has not evolved based on consumer requirements (although consumers definitely are forcing a long-overdue change with their buying habits these days... but we'll get to that in a minute).

When something is inconvenient, and not working the way that it needs to work in a 2011 world... I'm sorry, but I'm calling that one "broken", buddy.


"A Little History, The Distributors, A Different Point of View..."

... blah, blah, blah. Jeff keeps on truckin' right along, filling in a bunch of human/business nature ("It's all about me and my money!"), historical context (A detailed description of how and why a '73 Dart works), and a brief glimpse into how other industries ("snow", in this case) actually do manage to work (which is easy- they make less, and rake in more cash. Brilliant!).

The problem is, Jeff only gives us vague, veiled hints at how we, in skate, might go about "solving" this nonexistent problem. Apparently, those snow dudes have a much more efficient distribution model that cuts out a whole lotta middlemen, which makes the few remaining hands in the pot a whole bunch more money. They make a technologically advanced, well-engineered, high-dollar product that's pretty hard to duplicate by the average copycat. And, they're a little less greedy and stupid over there in snow world. They actually have the foresight to make a little less product (read: supply), which drives a little more demand, which cuts down on the after-season markdowns, and gets everybody along the way a few more duckets. Except for the customer. Because he ends up paying more for a snowboard than he did last year. Which is not necessarily bad for the customer (so long as I'm fully stoked on snowboarding, I'm totally fine with paying whatever it takes to get my ass on, and down, a fucking mountain), but is always great for the industry.

There's a little quote that I learned from my time in management school. It goes a little bit like this: "Don't Bring Me Problems, Bring Me Solutions". Jeff effectively denies that a problem exists, and then fails to deliver solutions. Yay for us. Well, I'm not Jeff. I'm not afraid to tell you point-blank that this shit is fucked up. And I'm also gonna tell you how it's going to end up getting fixed. Right from the top, to the bottom.

First problem: There are way too many distribution options. Half of those need to go. I've been saying this for years, by the way... so if it sounds familiar, that's because it is. Eastern, AWH, South Shore... they are all dead businesses. Because they perpetuate a dead paradigm: The Regional, Independent Distributor.

So, what is going to replace the regional independents? Primary Powerhouses. Which are going to form via industry consolidation. Which, ironically, has historically been one of Jeff's favorite talking points. In the future, I see a series of consolidations happening that will bring us down to a Big Three-to- Big Five of Primary Distributors. Examples? I could very easily see Deluxe (Real, Antihero, Krooked, Thunder, and Spitfire) strategically merging with Street Corner (Venture, Hubba, Think, City, Lucky), forming a San Francisco-based Mega Distributor. Which would save them immediate infrastructure costs (warehousing, sales staff, support staff, management, etc). Likewise, I could see a strategic merger happening between Tum Yeto (Foundation, Toy Machine, Ruckus, Pig, etc) and Black Box (Zero, Slave, Mystery, Fallen, yadda yadda yadda). Obviously, I'm totally making these up, based largely on geography and history. At the same time, they do illustrate an overriding goal: To bring families of brands together under one roof, saving money, and offering something that approaches one-stop shopping for the [few remaining] retailers out there. By building stronger Primaries, the need for Secondary distributors rapidly diminishes.

Thus: If I was a responsible brand manager today, my first job might be to start exploring sensible partnerships with other strong brands. Likewise: If I ran a Primary Distributorship, my job would probably become:

- Looking around for established brands to bring into my fold, via a merger,
- Looking for a promising upstart to bring into my fold, via a buyout, or
- Cultivating a next generation of leading brands, in-house.

The "biggest" problem of them all... and the perpetual problem that plagues our industry... is that all of these things require imagination, creativity, vision, and strategy. None of which are routinely employed by our industry leaders. Job One in our industry can easily be defined as "Maintain The Status Quo At All Costs". Everybody wants to be the king of their own island, and nobody seems to think very far beyond today. So, whenever any sort of "problem" arises, we all head back to our little islands, stick our heads in the sand (or up our asses), and put off for tomorrow what we really should have done today. It's this mentality, this "culture", that has gotten us to this point: Driving a 1973 Business Model in a 2011 World. We have literally been putting this off since 1974. Which doesn't say anything good about our leadership, now does it...?

Ultimately, Jeff is entirely correct in this regard: The Customer Ultimately Gets What The Customer Wants. Even if it means wholesale abandonment of a legacy paradigm... oh well! The customer has spoken, and made his or her intentions clear. The customer wants more skateboards. The customer wants more variety and options. Not just new graphics or pros, but entirely new ways of skateboarding (the explosive growth in longboarding is a testament to this one). The customer wants quality product (as always), but also wants prices to come down (as always). The customer wants a whole world of selection at their fingertips... and why shouldn't they? It is, after all, a 2011 world. It's all about more choices, and more immediate gratification. Our industry- as represented by IASC's members- does not easily deliver. This distribution model- as defined by "Everything from the manufacturer, to the retailer"- no longer works for the customer. So, they do the most sensible thing of them all: They abandon it altogether.

What am I saying here? Here's what I'm saying: Even if we step it up, and make the changes that we've needed to make for decades in streamlining our business models... we still might fail. Because the current customer demands even more streamlining than we're functionally capable of surrendering. The current customer lives in a world where "retail" is a couple of ginormous online supercenters... and if those fail for some oddball reason, you can always order direct from the mega-manufacturer as a last-ditch resort. In skate, you also have the luxury of tiny, boutique, microbrew brands that are entirely relateable, fun, and innovative. These guys don't have any use for our archaic "Business Model" at all! They don't need distributors, or even retailers. All they need is a small band of loyal customers to support their fairly limited (by IASC's standards) business goals, and to support them directly and consistently. And that too, is largely done via the web these days.

At the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own individual successes and failures. Finger-pointing and blaming some other chap for our own fuck-ups accomplishes nothing. Maybe we- us, in the industry- would serve ourselves far better by standing back, manning up, taking responsibility, and realizing the full extent of our failures. Only then will we finally find the inner fortitude to finally go about re-engineering this mess to serve everybody's needs and better interests.

We're Moving...!

Coming this summer, we're moving over to a brand-new home.


The address?

www.everythingskateboardingmagazine.blogspot.com

The reason? The Solitary Life has far outgrown it's original scope and purpose. We realized that what began as a fun little personal personal blog had effectively evolved into a weekly periodical that covered everything happening in skateboarding, big and small, from contributors far and near, and with readers coming in from all over the globe.

So, we finally figured that a name change that reflected this sudden new reality was probably quite a bit overdue.

We'd like to say "thanks" to everybody that took the time to read and contribute to The Solitary Life over the years. To show our appreciation, we're working on making it even better for the future at it's new web address.

Stay tuned.

Coming Summer 2012...

New Product Preview February 2011

(*But Houston, we have a problem here...*)



If you're a total doofus, and you've been living in a cave for the last couple of months, then you probably haven't heard the Big-Big News yet: Jeff Grosso (an office favorite here at The Solitary Life) has secured a spot on the Antihero team after spending no less than a few decades under John Lucero's wing (Schmitt Stix, Santa Cruz, Lucero Ltd., Black Label, Emergency). And let me tell ya, Jeff's new deck looks like a killer f'n plank. For those cave-dwellers out there, here's the proof (swooped from the Spring 2011 Antihero catalog, via http://www.dlxsf.com/):






She's a beauty, ain't she?! 9+ by 32+ inches huge, it's classic Jeff with a new twist on Jeff's classic graphics. Don't be a moron: Buy one yesterday.


Here's where the problem poses itself though, and it clearly illustrates a pressing point that I've been making now for at least a few years. Yesterday, I got the new issue of Concrete Wave Magazine. A fine mag that I thoroughly enjoy reading, and that I've always supported (and, will forever continue to support). This issue that I recieved, I believe, is the newest of the "All Longboarding, All The Time" issues (aka, the Winter 2011 issue).

Besides being a CW supporter, I also frequent (read: support) several web-based media outlets. Among them being Skull and Bones, Skate Daily, Boardistan, and a few others that I forget. All of these medias- print, and online- are aimed squarely at my big, fat ass. Defined as: The aging, lifer skateboarder.

But while CW seems to have completely missed the significance of the Jeff Grosso Defection, the everyday dudes at SnB have been on the case for months. Beginning with Jeff's leaving The Label, right through to the "bidding war" between Creature and Antihero, through photo documentation of the shape prototypes that Jeff test-skated, and finally cumulating with the release of the two Antihero shapes, as well as full coverage of the 30-unit, limited-release Jokers Skateshop Edition that's sure to be a smash with Grosso fans and collectors everywhere (like me!).

So, what does all of this say about Jeff's new deck? Nothing at all, actually. It's Jeff's new deck, so you knew all about it anyway. And what's more, you've probably already devised nefarious plans to procure one [or two] for yourself (just like I have!).

What this says about The Print Media, though, is a whole 'nother matter. What it says is that The Print Media is continuing to lose the Bounce Battle to The Internet. Every time a significant story breaks, The Internet bounces right on that shit, and covers it exhaustively from A to Z... while The Print Media either lags, or ignores the story altogether. Lets be real: The Winter 2011 issue should have featured a full-feature Jeff Grosso retrospective. Just based on the internet buzz alone that this story generated.

In lieu of that, the future is going to belong to the brands that build their own media arms. You know what I'd like to see right about now? A full-on Jeff Grosso Spotlight at the dlxsf.com website, where The Grossman is interviewed by Jim T. That would be the tittiest thing ever, wouldn't it...?! Yeah, man. You heard that right. The tittiest.

Seeing the forest through the trees is a rough job, but somebody's gotta do it. Big congrats to Grosso for being Grosso, Deluxe for tossing out such a choice plank, and everyone at Skull and Bones for keeping my stupid ass informed. Everybody rules. G'day, mates. I'm off to boil some cocoa.

The Retirement Life

So some time back, I decided that a good, solid twenty years or so of working in the skateboard industry was a pretty good run. In that time, I got to work at a skateshop/snowboard shop, run a skateboard shop, start my own company, tour extensively (both in the U.S. and abroad), manage a team, build custom decks, draw and screenprint board graphics (and tees, and stickers, and other stuff), sponsor up-and-coming skaters, document skateparks, write for a magazine, and do industry consulting and advising. In short: Somewhere in my long and fun-filled career, I literally got the lucky chance to do it all. And I even managed to pull off being a somewhat competent skater along the way, too. Although that last one might be hella debateable...

Realizing these things, I decided that I was well overdue for a good, long, relaxing break. In the form of a rather abrupt, semi-permanent retirement from all things "skateboarding". Except, of course, the actual act of skateboarding itself, which I'll probably take straight to my grave. I mean, seriously? What kind of wank quits skating, anyway? Whatever the case may be, I am not that sort of wank. So "the biz" can definitely go on its merry way, but the skate always remains. Got it?! Good.

At Michael Brooke's behest, I did promise to post the occasional blurb on The Solitary Life. Why Michael would behest such a thing is far beyond me. If you really feel like you have to know such things, I guess all I can tell ya is, ask Brooke.

Around the same time, I had a series of unrelated life-changes as well. It's funny: Rarely do I take the time to look back and reflect on my misdeeds and misadventures. But retirement is largely defined by having a lot of time on your hands, and not a whole lot of stuff to do with it. So "reflection" becomes one of the few handy ways to pass the time, and generally drive yourself bonkers. Which I tend to excel at, anyway. Still, the practice has been fruitful. I'm now half as sane as I was only weeks ago. That's me, Mr. Overachiever over here...

One of the funnier life-changes that I endured, was the life-changing experience of getting your house robbed while you're out grocery shopping. That one was pretty funny. Indianapolis robbers aren't like the ones we had back East, nosiree. Back East, our robbers actually took useful shit. Like maybe your car, or your credit cards, or your cash... or if you're as unlucky as I am, maybe even your life. My robber, however, only managed to swoop a shitty laptop (that never really worked all that great in the first place), some junk jewelry (total loss there: $17.93), and a corn muffin. Our robber also heated up a stack of flapjacks in the radar range... but he must've forgotten to steal 'em, because they were still piping hot in the 'wave when I got home.

Even weirder, my robber did manage to leave a couple somethings behind, too: A shit-ton of fingerprints (on the 'wave, which the cops had a good 'ol time dusting up), and a fancy new snow shovel (which is what he used to break out my window with). The shovel works the tits on all sorts of snow and ice, which is totally awesome considering the shit-ton of snow and ice we just got this week. So oddly enough, I might have actually gotten the better end of this whole "robbery" shenanigan.

A few weeks before the robbery, another total blow-it went down in the form of my 500th breakup from The Pandster. Never have I endured a relationship that was defined by a never-ending series of break-ups... but, alas, that just was the way The Pandster rolled: Break Up Now, and Think About It Later. Fellow Skull and Bones member AUOK tried to warn me about her... apparently, the Order of the Skull swaps more than just decks... but did I listen? Uhhhh, no. And was that a fail of epic proportions? Uhhhh, yeah. But thankfully, sometime in early December, The Pandster decided that she'd had just about enough of my ass, and gave me the final, no-jokes-this-time heave-ho. After which I secretly threw a breakup party that would put the average ASR blow-and-ho session to a crying shame. That was sort of a first for me, celebrating a breakup. But then again, if you're doing everything right, life is full of firsts. It's just a matter of rolling with the punches, and laughing about it later.





Object Of My Affection Number One: Kenda, my new squeeze. Isn't she gorgeous?! She certainly is to me...! I'm no dummy: You know damn good and well that you'd retire for this, too...



Sometimes, a little bit of re-evaluation and re-examination can be super good things. After The Pandster Debacle, I decided that it was high time to get down to getting real, and figure out exactly what I wanted out of a relationship, and what kind of woman... not "girl", guys... "woman"... I needed to make it work. I ultimately decided that high-maintenence drama and over-the-top craziness were passe, while some gut-busting laughter, shared interests, easy communication and understanding, and thoughtful patience just might be the way to go. Being a snowboarder, of course, would easily earn Double Bonus Points... but no man can ever expect perfection, right? Enter Kenda (above). Kenda's basically everything that I've always wanted (but never could find), plus a few super-boss bonus points that kinda make Kenda the ultimate in girlfriendology. That pretty much makes Kenda "perfection", personified. And that makes me, once again, an incredibly lucky guy. Stay tuned for "The Kenda Chronicals", because this chick racks up funny stories faster than I rack up Jeff Grosso decks. And that's really sayin' something big right there, buddy.





The other "object of my affection" these days: Snowboarding! The Burton Deuce, and the fat man holding it, represent the objects of Kenda's affections. Especially the Deuce. She really likes that one...


In other Channel Budro current news... this has been a whoppingly stellar snowboarding season, and all the down weather means that shit just keeps on looking up! The average Hoosier may hate the snow (probably because they suck ass at driving in it), but The Good Vibe Tribe says "Bring It, Bitch!" If you're totally clueless, The Good Vibe Tribe is a group of the most hardcore and dedicated of the Perfect North locals, of which I am-once again- lucky enough to be a member. Their specialties include raising hell all over the mountain, fast lines, gnarly tree runs, triple blacks, and some hefty tailgating action in between exploratory endeavors to "real" mountains out west and/or back east. Just last week, Heidi and Dan took an epic joust out to Mt. Baker, while I had a pretty good wrestling match with Bohemia this year. I'm gonna even up that score on the next round, so don't even doubt my ass on that one. The gym has been good to me lately, and there's an arsenal of well-waxed Strokes just waiting for the takedown.

So yeah: Snowboarding? Check...





Some of the best things about being a blogger, are the weird opportunities that just sorta creep up out of nowheresville. Take the Hertel account, as an example. We went from testing the waxes (as a product review), to bringing them on as an advertiser, to doing the ads (because they didn't have any at the time... the picture above is one of my personal favorites of the campaign), and finally to me getting offered a marketing position at the company.

To All Kids: Taking the initiative does pay off. "Ain't nuthin'to it but to do it!" Never forget it, alright...?!


Lastly: Last month, I was offered a marketing position by Terry Hertel at Hertel Wax. If you don't know your ass from your elbow, Hertel makes no-holds-barred, no-bullshit, no-joke, and no-play wax for serious, serious skiers and snowboarders. The Solitary Life got some of this stuff last fall for our Head-To-Head Wax Competition... but the problem was that there just isn't any "competition" for this shit. This stuff is simply a block full of sheer lunacy... The Tribe will totally back me upon this one. Dan's jaw fell to the ground for five whole runs "testing" this wax, while Heidi's been giggling it up and playing speed demon all over the damn mountain ever since she got her hands on this "amazing, amazing" stuff (her words, not mine). It's so damn good... "game-changing", really... that when Terry asked me to bring my skate-marketing experience to Hertel... I didn't even think twice about saying "yes". Plus, the snowboard industry is a very different world from skateboarding, anyway. The skateboarding industry is basically a high-maintenence drama-fest, while the snowboard industry is just straight-ahead good times and easygoing play. Maybe the skateboard industry should think about seriously studying their snow-bound counterparts, because they would probably learn a lot. Like how to effectively market to women, keep gross margins respectable, and how to keep the overall vibe positive, and focused on the task at hand. Skateboarding, after all, has always been all about all sorts of senseless bullshit (drugs, hookers, helmets, alcohol, more drugs, constant controversy, hipsters, hype, this-vs.-that arguments, you name it), while snowboarding really remains perpetually focused on having fun, riding around on a mountain (or a hill, or an incline, or in a jib park, or whatever...) on a snowboard. Go figure that one out, 'cuz it's so simple, it's stupid.

In short: Everything's pretty much good to grand over here. No hurries, no worries. I've got cuddle-time, road-tripping, time with friends, and snowboarding planned for this weekend. That's pretty much all I'll ever need, right there. So I've basically got it made.

Thanks to everyone that took the time to read The Solitary Life. Strangely, the readership numbers remain pretty high, even though there hasn't been a new post in forever. Weirdness. At the end of the day, I'm just glad that somebody's getting something out of it. It was a fun trip. So thanks to you, The Reader. Because without The Readers, The Solitary Life would've just been a whole buncha senseless babbling.

Here's my final bit of advice: Follow my lead, and start your own blog today. You'll be glad you did.