A lot of people don't know this, but I spend a fair share of my time every year "mystery shopping" Zumiez. If you don't know what "mystery shopping" is, it's pretty simple: I just go into the store, as if I were an average customer, and do average-customer things. Like asking a zillion annoying, impossible-to-answer questions, and generally acting like a complete douchebag. Because that's what “The Average American Customer” is like these days, right...? The all-knowing and all-demanding bitch that wants to be catered to, hand over foot...? You might even guess that acting like a douchebag is easy for me, which makes me uniquely suited to “mystery shopping”. I am, after all, the ultimate personification of The Average American Customer...!
All kidding aside, it's definitely an important part of my workload here at
Everything Skateboarding. Even as a staunch supporter of the core retailer, I firmly believe that it's my job to not only know the enemy... but in many cases, to know them better than they even know themselves. And I might add, to know them better than Jeff Harbaugh does. Jeff's a really smart and saavy guy, but he deals a lot with
“whatever-quarter-results” and
“recent-stock-performances” these days. Which is a regressive point of view, in my opinion... and thus, not really all that important to anything. Because he's basically measuring them, based on their overall financial performance in
the recent past. And I don't give two shits about that. I'm a
hell of a lot more curious about what their
future performance is going to be, insofar as it relates to the customers' experiences
inside the store. This gives me a much clearer picture of how they're
really doing, compared against the performance of my core-skateshop-buddies. And thus, the mystery-shopping idea. Gets me what I need to know, and is always a fun time to boot. Perfect...!
This past week, I had an unusually generous amount of free time on my hands (because the girlfriend was out of town for the weekend). So, I had the rare chance to mystery-shop a couple of stores in person, as well as every single store in the state of Indiana over the phone. My targets were the following stores:
Noblesville, IN
Ft. Wayne, IN
Bloomington, IN
Merrillville, IN
Lafayette, IN
Michigan City, IN
Indianapolis (Castleton), IN,
and Greenwood (Indianapolis South), IN
... which was actually kinda weird, right off the bat. Because talking to my core-shop-buddies, you'd swear that these things are propegating like rabbits or something. So, I was a bit bemused when I discovered that in the whole state of Indiana, we only had eight of these Devil's Skate Retailers. I don't know, man... "eight" doesn't seem like a very threatening number to me, for some reason. But then, I've never been particularly threatened by Zumiez, anyway. I've always thought that the average, legitimate, core skate shop should be able to mop a Zumiez up off the floor, any day of the week, with almost-effortless ease.
Speaking of core retailers: This week, I also had to "mystery shop" a few core skate shops around the midwest. But, that was for a far more practical and pertinent reason: My current skateshop database is getting a little bit outdated, and I had to simply make sure that some of the shops were still in business, and at the same locations. Because “The Board Meeting” is coming up in April, and I wanted to send them flyers, as well as invitiations to the shindig. Core shops are still my friends, after all. So naturally, I want them all to be there.
The results that I got from my week of mystery-calling were kinda startling. So much so, that I thought they might even deserve their own essay. But, I had reservations about this one. My basic question was,
“If my enemy is kicking the shit out of my friends... should I tell my friends about this...? Or, are they gonna get offended...? And is my enemy gonna be stoked that I gave them some props, even though I still think they’re assholes...?” These are tough questions. But at the end of the day... as always... I said “to hell with it”, and just went with my gut. And screw anyone that hates on me for telling it like it is.
One thing that continually impresses me about Zumiez, is the overall presentation of the storefront. Lots of strategically placed POP, lots of skateboards, lots of color, and a whole lotta "Come on in, and check us out!" Until recently, it's always been an exercise in fog, smoke, and mirrors: The "meat" of truly exceptional customer service and product knowledge has always been conspicuously absent. But how long can we count on this being true in the future...? Especially when they're making progress in this direction, right now...?Whenever I call a skateshop... any skateshop, whether it's a core shop, a Zumiez, or otherwise... I fully expect to hear this when they pick up the telephone. Because this is the standard, professional, and correct way to answer a business call:
"Hello! Thanks for calling (my skate shop)! This is (my name). How can I help you today...?!”
Now, here's the rub, people: Every single fucking Zumiez that I called, got it right. Spot-on, every time.
"Well, imagine that bullshit! Zumiez, of all skateshops...!? Doing something right...?!?!" Yeah, tell me about it. And consistently, too. Jesse in Michigan City and Aaron in Castleton did the best jobs of it... so much so, that I actually took a minute to congratulate them on their phone skills. I haven't done that to a "core" skateshop since 2008.
Which brings us straight to the core skate shop. All twelve of those. Which failed. Yes: All of them got it wrong. The standard greeting at the core shops was pretty much an unenthusiastic, almost to the point of sounding annoyed,
”Bob’s”. Whatever the name of their shop was. Not even,
“Bob’s Skateshop”. Just,
“Bob’s”. No, “Hello!”. No, “How are ya?!”. No, “How can I help you...?”. Nope... none of that.
Even the
vibe was completely different... and as I’ve said in previous essays, the vibe that your skateshop puts out is all-important. You can’t fake a good vibe very well, and you can’t really hide a bad one all that easily, either. But Zumiez puts out a damn good vibe on the phone. Everyone’s always super-cheery, uber-outgoing, and sugary-sweet. Sometimes nauseatingly so... but even that’s starting to mellow out. It’s getting better, at least.
On the other hand: The overall vibe that I got from the twelve core shops that I called, was that they were
pissed off that they had to answer the fucking phone at all. Here, it’s actually getting
worse. And that’s just how it goes these days. If I absolutely had to call somebody these days, I’d almost pick the phone, take the kick in the balls, and call a damned Zumiez somewhere. At least they’re
nice.
This is definitely not a good omen for the future of core skate shops. I do think that there’s a much, much bigger problem at work here. The problem is, I don't think that they truly recognize that today... in 2011... the average skateboard customer actually demands that they be treated like...
a customer? Not as somebody that expects to be verbally abused when they call, or walk into, the shop.
Add to that, that the face of skateboarding is also changing. The face of skateboarding is no longer exclusively the white, 16-year-old, suburban, male street skater. Yeah, there's still a lot of those out there, and they're definitely not going anywhere soon. On the other hand: Their majority is shrinking, and
fast. The reality of today's skateboarding is that girls, little kids, and old dudes are making up more and more of the demographic. Zumiez is actually dealing with this “new reality” far better than most "core" shops are, and obviously so. Because while I was in Greenwood, I spotted well-built little Real, Toy Machine, and Darkstar completes for $89.99 (or so), which is always little-kid-and-parent-friendly. And, they also had an entire quiver of longboards and cruisers... both "entry level", as well as some "high-end, niche" stuff. Which means that they’ve effectively engaged with the growing longboard scene, a concept that most “core” skateshops still find a little “gay”. The old-man contingent is a little harder to gauge, a bit more fickle, and super-huge on product knowledge... so, I'm not really surprised that Zumiez hasn't tackled that one yet. But still, the headway they're making on most fronts is pretty shocking. And the focus on customer service gives them an innate edge here, because they treat everyone the same exact way:
Like a potential customer that's there to buy a skateboard of some kind or another, for somebody. Not like a loser or a kook that's there to waste their time and energy.
Lord knows that, if they succeed at anything, Zumiez absolutely has the wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling product overload down pat. They're stocked with almost everything and anything that any googly-eyed, hyper-hipster, clueless-teenager fashion victim could ever want. But what about actual skateboarders...? Ah, well, not quite so impressive. But again, it's not all that outlandish to think that they just might get it together in the near future. If the core shop can't even answer a phone well, or start a friendly conversation with a newbie customer... how fucked are they gonna be when competitive push comes to profitable shove...? Zumiez ain't playing to lose the game, folks. It gets to the point where, for certain types of customers... I have to seriously ask myself,
"Where would I send this chap (or chick) to get a skateboard? Zumiez? Or, my local ‘core’ skateshop"...? Five years ago, I would have sent them to the core shop, every single time. But today...? Maybe not. If it's a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, little kid, first-time skateboard buyer, longboarder, or a female skater... I might actually consider sending them to Zumiez first. Just based on the fact that they'll get the respect that they deserve, as a potential customer.
As I was researching this article, I came across an essay at angrysnowboarder.com that basically accused Zumiez of being... how should I say it?
“Too sales-oriented”...? Which is absolutely true. I’ve seen a lot of that, myself. But still, the ultimate question becomes:
“Would I rather shop at a skateshop that’s a little too ‘fake-nice’...? Or, one that treats me straightaway like I’m the dick in the equation...?”
“Now if you were awesome enough to be hired [by Zumiez], you get to go through the world’s largest training manual. Seriously, this thing rivals War and Peace with the amount of crap it’s filled with. The one thing you’ll learn from this is how to be a pusher, and force sales on people. Now, I’m from the generation of, 'If people want to buy stuff, they’ll do it. You just need to steer them [the right way], and answer their tech questions... and above all else, make casual suggestions'. Their idea is to fill you so full of acronyms and sales pitches, [that] you’ll be shitting out what’s left of your soul in no time...”
-from angrysnowboarder.comI also mystery-shopped the Greenwood and Castleton Zumiezes in person last week, to gauge their grasp on product knowledge. And there, they didn't do quite as well as I would have liked. Actually, they kinda blew it... as usual. But the last 20 or so core shops that I walked in to didn’t do so hot, either... and again, Zumiez actually did manage to demonstrate some degree of progress on this front. Their guys actually got about half of my questions “mostly right”... and I’m a total bastard, so you
know I wasn’t tossing them softballs the whole fucking time... while Castleton did a great job of getting my girlfriend on a longboard that would actually work, and work well for her. And mind you, "product knowledge" has typically been one of the core shops' stronger attributes. Not anymore, though...! The gap between Zumiez, and the core shop, is narrowing on almost every front. I'd call that an epic fail for every core skateshop.
"The Reality" is becoming clearer and clearer all the time:
The core shop has to learn to effectively compete with a steadily improving Zumiez paradigm, or risk imminent extinction. And all I see is the core shop burying it's head in it's ass, and bitching about how "gay" Zumiez is. Which is sort of the classic "IASC strategy":
"Just deride your critics and call them names until they slit your throat, and you'll totally be good to go, bro...!" Which does nothing, of course, to actually
solve the problem. In reality, it only makes your problems that much worse, because you end up looking like a jibbering idiot that can't get anything useful done. Just like IASC does.
I never thought that I would ever see a day where I'm saying shit like
"Zumiez is actually doing a good job on something, and it's making the core shop look really, really bad in comparison." But whine, squeal, and bitch all you want... it's still absolutely true.
When I go to bed at night after mystery-shopping a corporate giant like Zumiez, and realizing that they're actually doing a better job (in a few respects, at least) than most core shops are at doing when it comes to doing what is in the best interests of their customers... it leads me straight to the question of my own biases, and my own shortcomings. It's a tough gig. But again: It's part of the job.
More than anything else that I do, this self-reflection and self-questioning is a vitally important part of my work. And it's something that I wish more of our "industry leaders" did more often. For my part, I also go the extra mile by being very transparent, honest, and public about it all, because I feel that it's extremely important that the average skater on the street has full disclosure regarding how I reach my opinions, insights, and convictions.
Insofar as the all-important “self reflection” goes, Zumiez (again) wins out. This is, by the way, the funniest part of my entire ”mystery shopping” essay. And also, by far, the most revealing part of where Zumiez is [apparently] failing on one hand, yet priming itself for ultimate success on the other.
For some reason... don’t even ask me why this fucking happens... but every time I “mystery shop” a Zumiez... they must always, always assume that I’m somebody really,
really important. Who in the hell they think I
am, I have no idea. I've never
told any of them that I was anybody special at all. And I’ve never wanted to blow my own cover by actually asking them who in the world they think I am... because then, I’d actually have to tell them that I'm nobody special, or even anybody important. But I never, ever correct them. And I
do take advantage of their assumptions, and their gullibilty, every chance I get. Of course! Why wouldn’t I...?!
So, I was very surprised a few years back, when I was giving some Zumiez store manager a good ‘ol ass-reaming over her staff’s lackluster performance... hey, what can I say? She was cute... when I suddenly demanded to see her
“PK Sheets, and the employee handbook”. “PK sheets” were a total guess on my part: They stand for ”product knowledge sheets”, and I’ve worked at other retailers that had ‘em... so, I figured that Zumiez just might have them, too. They’re basically flyers that tell the employees all about the various products in the store in a simple, easy-to-understand-for-the-clueless sort of way. And every employer on the planet has an employee manual, no matter what the hell they’re in business to do.
Anyway, Lord knows why she did this... but, she actually went out back, and got them for me. And they were super-revealing. And as I stood there, and gave her shit for “not knowing this stuff”... I perused all of these documents, and realized that Zumiez actually has it pretty well figured out. Whoever wrote these things did a great fucking job with them. The employees certainly have all the tools, right at hand, to know everything that they’ll ever need to know about skateboards (if not skateboarding). So clearly, the problem lies either with the employees that don’t bother to read this stuff, or the middle-management that doesn't make reading them a priority for the employees. But either way, the problem isn't with the corporate manual-writers at Zumiez. And that was kind of a shock to my system, to discover that somebody in the upper ranks of Zumiez management actually knew what in the hell they were doing.
But, it gets even worse: In those manuals, there’s extremely detailed information that basically says,
“Look, man. Just be cool to the customers, okay...? All of them. Regardless of what they’re wearing, how old they are, how long they’ve been skating, where they shop, or what they ride... whatever. Just be really fucking cool... and sell them something...!” It’s basically the sort of manual that, if I had the chance... I’d either write it myself. Or: I’d photocopy it, and force every core-skateshop-owner and employee to read it at least once. It’s
that good. And once Zumiez can get their managers and employees to actually read the damn thing, then they’ll be that much closer to being an unstoppable force as a retailer. Because that’ll finally give them some of the credibility with the “core consumers” that they’ve lacked all this time.
The next day, I seriously had to ask myself whether I was "wrong" to give Zumiez any props at all for doing something right, in my role as a staunch supporter of core skateshops. After thinking about it for an hour or so, I realized that what's "wrong" about this whole deal, is that I can't say these things about the "core shop" contingent.
But, I wish that I could...! I wish that every time I called a core skateshop, I got a friendly
"Hello! Thanks for calling us! How can I help you today..?!" And that, like Zumiez, I'd get that over the phone literally 100% of the time. It would also be nice to feel comfortable sending my 6-year-old niece, or my fifty-year-old mother-in-law to a core shop, and know that they'd get treated with enthusiasm, kindness, and respect every time. It'd be nice if the core skateshops catered to all kinds of skateboarders, and had a vibe that felt welcoming and inclusionary. And as I went down that list, I realized that these realities had all changed. That they're changing in Zumiez's favor. And that the core shops... the shops that I root for every day, and champion in my writings... just haven't kept up.
Of course, I still have never actually bought anything at a Zumiez. Thankfully, there's still one fully legit, customer-service-focused skate shop on the planet (that's Mike Hirsch at SoCal Skateshop, of course) that I would much rather support. But if we were to take Hirsch out of the equation, and strictly make this question about whether I'd choose Zumiez, or my mocal brick-and-mortar, the next time I need something... well, who would I pick...?
The answer is, I’m too scared to even think about it. Thank Gawd for Hirsch...! But five years from now... who knows? The way things are going right now, Zumiez just might be a real player by then. While most of my local shops aren’t even players right now.
